My oldest son celebrated his birthday recently and with it came one of those “oh my gosh, I’m getting old” utterances. As all parents do, we tend to reprogram our thoughts away from the fast-ticking seconds of currently, and back to the fond events of yester-time as we prepare to light the candles once again with our kids. Relative to them, the mind-warp most often zooms back to the moment they were delivered. To wit we utter to ourselves with gambling predictability, “where does the time go.” At what point are there more memories than experiences, ugh. Have we created enough?
As I wrote in the next book (scheduled to come out later this year), that segment of my life was wrought with emotional unrest. As his younger brother was; my older son too was not born without having some major medical distractions. Unfortunately, my mind instantly races back to those early spring days of fateful hospital visitations rather than of the triumph realized when he eventually came home. And so too, the seed of memory consideration was planted in my head.
I always thought the days back then to have been rather dire. If I asked his mom, her response would be completely different. In her mind they were joyful as we brought new life into the world, the medical stuff was an extended part of the process. Such is the complex mystery of reflection with our past. Memory suppression or memory celebration- what is the correct course of action? Each of us is unique to how we prioritize our shadows.
My son was telling me just after blowing out his candles, several of his most treasured childhood images are those spent with me doing various father-son things as most parents do with their children. Many of which I have barely any recollection of. Tis’ a curious pull and tug with our life-memory bank.
The first lesson here, we aren’t always creating them for ourselves. Oftentimes we are investing in the contemplations for our children, whereby one day they too will have the luxury of undusting moments spent with us as they get older. A select few of them may even be etched upon the glass in their rearview recall mirror.
Also, no two experiences realized are ever recounted the same. Some we place little emphasis on, while another person who shared the same space in time might consider it to have been one of life’s triumphant moments. Is the family memory glass half-full or half-empty? Does it even matter at this point as we age? Shouldn’t we just be grateful at the very least, to be fortunate enough to have something in it in the first place? Memories created aren’t ever about quantity. It is always about the quality of those contained therein which is most important.
My own personal belief is; it’s best not to try and decipher the plan for how our reflections work, but just to strive continuously to make new memories as timely and as amply as possible. The mundane and trivial minutes of present-day may still become the magnificent family reflections of tomorrow. We never know. These memories begin as ambiguous as a grey ball of cold clay. Only over time will they become something more in terms of structure and meaningful substance. Never discount the potential each memory clay ball has within it, to become cherished, tomorrow.
I guess collectively too, all of our memories are just distant noises destined to forever soundscape our timeline. It doesn’t matter which order of importance you place them, dearest, to you. The next real narrative here is to simply keep them coming with copiousness. The memory ghost is never satisfied. It is always craving more. For now, do your family a favor. Continue to feed it abundantly, and often.
Tomorrow doesn’t owe us a thing in terms of allowing for any vast opportunities toward memory creation. It is important to live in the now and make the now, be the now, and dream the now. Visions of yesterday may only be created once. Go forth and allow your experiential self to record brilliantly with your loved ones each and every chance you are afforded.
In doing so too, our children will eventually realize our truest present to them as well. As it always happens, they will one day discover our greatest birthday gift was nothing tangible. It was far more precious. Lovingly placed into their hearts and in their minds.
Make memories happen.